Gerry Friesen has been out of the hog business for more than 15 years, but listening to speakers at the Banff Pork Seminar, he said it is clear the stressors haven’t disappeared and warned farmers not to ignore any mental health worries.
“Don’t ignore issues. They don’t go away,” said Friesen, who suffered for years because he didn’t know what was happening. Instead he believed working longer hours and isolating himself would solve any problems.
“Farming has changed dramatically since I grew up on the farm. The hog industry is becoming more complex than ever and more decisions carry bigger stakes. The industry is rife with stressors.”
In 2003, Friesen was operating a family farm in western Manitoba, president of Manitoba Pork Marketing, chair of Dynamic pork, and a mediator with the farm mediation board.
“The hog industry was in a continuous downward spiral so my farm, the organizations I was involved in and their members were experiencing significant challenges,” Friesen told the delegates.
Friesen began having frequent heart palpitations and felt he would pass out. In 2004 he was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and went on medication to help cope, but the anxiety remained.
One day in 2005 a neighbour asked how he was doing. Instead of ignoring the question, Friesen opened up to his neighbour and just talked. The neighbour didn’t give advice, just listened.
“It gave me enough strength to get professional help. He helped me by listening,” said Friesen, who has since written a book, The Recovering Farmer, about his journey through anxiety and depression.
“I tell my story not because it’s unique, but because it isn’t,” he said.
“When your identity is your work, your head space becomes the first casualty. I didn’t see it coming. At first it was just long days and the constant sense of falling behind. Then it became anxiety. I couldn’t shut off. Sleepless nights, a creeping heaviness. I hid from everyone including myself.
“I got really good at doing two things: keeping my head down and thinking everything was fine. Maybe some of you know what that feels like, the pressure to keep going. The fear of letting people down, the fear that you can’t show weakness.Then one day everything collapsed. My mind quit, my body quit. Everything I thought I could out run finally caught up with me.”
For years Friesen resisted talking about his anxiety because he didn’t understand what was happening and he knew it didn’t happen to men, or farmers.
“I had no idea what I was experiencing was mental illness. I didn’t know stress could knock you to your knees. I didn’t know how to ask for help.”
After winding down his farm in 2007, Friesen volunteered for the Manitoba Farm and Rural Stress Line. It was through part of his training, he learned more about mental illness and depression and how to cope with his own mental illness.
After more than a decade, Friesen said his journey to better health continues through professional counselling, talking and listening.
“There is no one magical simple answer or quick fix,” he said.
The journey is long with plenty of detours, potholes and a few good stretches. What doesn’t work is ignoring the symptoms, he said. •
— By Mary MacArthur